Coaching

Why I Created BrillianceQuest

Accelerating personal growth isn’t easy. Over the past 18 months, while I have been developing and testing BrillianceQuest, many people have asked me, why did you do it? Why did you create this program? The short answer is: because I needed it myself!

I was probably just like you. On the outside, I was successful. I had a great business that I owned, it was doing well financially, I had great clients who referred their friends and family to work with me. Externally, it all looked great! I even had people tell me that they envied my life. What  they couldn’t see on the inside is that I was miserable. Yes, miserable.

To be clear, the definition of misery that I use is “distress or suffering caused by need.” So, while everything on the outside looked good, it felt like something major was missing for me. I NEEDED something that I could not figure out for years!

I had been teaching people for ten years how the hard-wiring in their brains motivated them, which fears built into their brains drove them, what their stress responses were and how they manifested, how they made decisions, what irritated them and which environments were best for their brain types. I discovered a small study that was mostly unknown about neuro-transmitters and how they were biochemically required for joy and happiness – and the light bulb went off! Of course, I knew all this about my brain and how it worked but I wasn’t using my brain the right way so that I could be happy! I immediately changed the way I worked and I felt better. I wasn’t nearly as drained or exhausted after a hard day’s work. With this new knowledge, my life improved, but I still felt like something was missing.

One day, I was reading a blog post by my friend Andrea Lee, who wrote about meaning and money. I started thinking about meaning and decided to look up what it meant, exactly. Meaning is the significance of something. While I enjoyed my work and it was making a difference in businesses all over the world, it was still not significant enough for me. Sure, I was helping executives and managers reduce their stress, use their brains more effectively, communicate more effectively for their audiences and direct reports, but I wasn’t making a significant difference in their lives. I was helping them and they were thankful, but I knew I could do more.

A few months later, my friend Jeffrey Van Dyk called me to offer an amazing experience. He was learning how to teach people to access their purpose and was looking for a guinea pig. I immediately jumped at the opportunity and within a few weeks, I knew my purpose – to illuminate the world because the way we are working and living is unsustainable and goes against the natural order! Wow! I didn’t know exactly what it meant, but I knew it was “real” and “accurate” because I felt it. I also felt the significance of it. A little too much. It started to feel like a burden to me. Then I freaked out – I decided to ignore my purpose because it was too overwhelming for me and I didn’t think I could be successful at it (this is common for people who discover their purpose, by the way).

Be sure to check out my post on What Happens When You Ignore Your Life’s Purpose?

Things got worse. When I ignored my purpose, I got nervous, anxious and couldn’t focus. The next few months were a nightmare. Not only did my business suffer, my relationships, my health, my self-confidence all took a beating. Then I decided that I couldn’t ignore my purpose any longer, so I set off to figure out what it meant, how to be successful at it and what else did I need to know and do so that I could enjoy it, have meaning, be happy and fulfilled.

I used myself as a laboratory. I tried several things that didn’t work. I hired coaches and teachers and took courses and programs. I learned something from all of them, but not the “holy grail” for how to make it all work. Then one night I couldn’t sleep. During the wee hours of the morning, I heard a voice say “you’ve got everything you need.” I blinked and asked, “what?” And the voice inside my head said, “You’ve got everything you need. You have the skills, knowledge, strength, wisdom, passion and know-how to follow your purpose, be successful, find meaning and fulfillment and be happy. All you need to do is put it together the right way.”  I sat up in bed, stunned and shaking a little. It felt right. I did know it, but it didn’t exist yet.

I knew my purpose, but I didn’t exactly know how to make it successful. So, I added the Holistic Life Plan and I used the brain function information that I had been teaching so that I would have the right balance of neurotransmitters to biochemically set myself up for happiness. It all started to come together.

Necessity was the mother of invention. And now I’m proud to be able to share the entire BrillianceQuest process with you – if you’re ready for it!

 

Getting the Most Out of Your Coaching Sessions

Be Prepared. Maximize Your Investment.

 

1. Be Prepared

Set an intention for each session. Prior to your session, give thought as to what would make the biggest difference for you and the assistance and coaching you may need. Generally, sessions that are focused with a specific intention will make you feel more complete and focused. The coaching also handles whatever “shows up”, helping you stay present with the realities of your life.Prepare for each coaching session by spending 5-10 minutes reviewing your original coaching goals, recent progress and listing any new areas that you want to focus on during the upcoming session. You will work with your coach during each session to create actions to complete for the next session. These actions will help you to move towards your goal. Make sure you do what you promise and turn up prepared each time. Completing these actions may be challenging at times, but the real work happens between sessions: in your business, work and life. Not prepared? Spend the first five minutes of your coaching conversation preparing with your coach!

2. Focus on What’s Most Important to You

Get clear before you call your coach about what you want to focus on and what is the most important to you right now. Talk about what matters most to you. Talk about anything you want during your coaching sessions: your goals, your life, your needs, what you want to improve. Even stuff that may not appear to be all that ‘useful’ to talk about. Focus on what you need to talk about, not what you feel you ’should’ talk about. This approach will give you the most value from your sessions.

3. Do Your Homework

Often, you will have homework to accelerate your progress and the change between coaching sessions. Usually, the homework can be completed in 1-3 hours. Forgetting, skipping or ignoring the homework will affect the effectiveness of your coaching. If you’re having difficulty completing an assignment, please email your coach between sessions for assistance.

4. Focus on Feelings Too

Focus on what you are feeling, not just on what you want to produce. Sometimes, clients feel the need to focus the coaching time on how to produce more tangible or financial results. But intangibles, such as feeling happier, more peaceful and more inspired, are equally important.

4. Be Responsible

Be responsible for your own actions. This also means raising with your coach, in real time, anything that you are unhappy about within your coaching relationship. Don’t relinquish power to your coach. Coaching is a partnership and you need to be responsible for your own actions.

5. Be Committed
The coaching process takes absolute commitment. To achieve anything extraordinary in business and life, you need to be willing to engage, work hard and move past obstacles and your own fears. Make sure you are ready to take on the commitment when you start your coaching sessions. Being clear about your commitment will help you get through the challenges you will face along the way.

6. Be Selfish

Become incredibly selfish. Coaching is about you and what you most want. So, go ahead, and put yourself first. Yes, be selfish in the sense that you are what matters most. When you are happy and do well, others will benefit also.

7. Be Open

Be open to seeing things differently. In coaching, you will be working with your goals (the ‘what’) and your strategies to reach these goals (the ‘how’) and all the time working on you (the ‘who’). Coaching becomes exciting when you re-look at some of your assumptions, ways of thinking, expectations, beliefs and approaches to success. It often is exciting to evolve and arrive at newly developed concepts.

8. Remove Obstacles and Drains

Get rid of your “psychic sappers.” Coaching works because it focuses you in two areas. First, you get to stretch and take more actions than you would on your own. Secondly, you will be reducing/eliminating things that drain you, such as toleration, stressful situations, difficult relationships and recurring problems. Bring these areas to the coaching session.

9. Create Space

Get more space, not just time, in your life. Coaching needs room in order to work. If you’re too busy, rushed, adrenalined, or burdened, you’ll be using your coaching sessions to push harder instead of smarter. When you begin, consider reducing your roles, install personal management systems, etc. Get simple. Simplification gives space. Space is needed to learn and evolve yourself beyond where you are today.

10. Change Your Environment To Do Some of the Work for You

Strengthen your personal/business foundation. Use part of your coaching time to design the perfect environment in which to live and work. Where you live and how you live are key to your success. Hang out with people who will cheer your success, not your failure. Be willing to invest time and money in improving your environment so that you feel supported to be your best!